I lived a life for many years waiting for tomorrow.
Tomorrow I’ll start running.
Tomorrow I’ll call that friend.
Tomorrow I’ll read that book.
Tomorrow I’ll tackle that room.
Tomorrow I’ll speak up.
Tomorrow I’ll try out for that part.
Tomorrow I’ll plan that trip.
Tomorrow I’ll take time for me.
Tomorrow, when Khushi has grown up, is really what I was telling myself.
Tomorrow, when Khushi has grown up, I’ll really take time for myself because only then do I think I’m worth taking the time.
Tomorrow when all the things that need to get fixed will I do all the things that need me to be brave.
That’s what I was really telling myself. It’s not easy to admit those kind of thoughts. We tuck them behind mum guilt and yet, when asked, those are the moments where the tears well up in one’s eyes.
Living for tomorrow means that you think you will have many many tomorrows.
Here’s the real truth:
It means, at some level, you believe your life is invincible.
Humbling, isn’t it? I so quickly forget that truth until those moments where it’s smack in my face. Maybe it’s easier to live without that urgency. Maybe we get caught up in the frenzy of motherhood.
What, just what happens, if you stop with the excuse of the perpetual tomorrow and you start living today? What will you teach your kids then? You won’t teach them that a mum gives up on her dreams and her passions and gets burnt out. You will teach them that it is just as noble and just as wise to not forget you.
Remember when you were young? The dreams, the possibilities, the excitement of when you were grown?
Don’t lose that. This is your now.
Sometimes we just get so busy and so bogged down by life that all of that seems foolish, unwise and if there isn’t the time.
You are worth the time.
I know you have dreams. I also know you have dishes. I know you have hopes. I also know you have kids who either rebel or throw up or don’t want the shirt with the lion on front and you are late and don’t want to deal with changing it or well, you get the picture. You are a mom.
But, dear one, just because you are a mum does not mean that you get a pass on yourself.
You don’t get to quit taking care of you.
You don’t get to wait until tomorrow to find your spark again.
You get now.
Sometimes it will mean tough stuff. It means looking at all the excuses that you have built and deciding to go the other way. It might mean giving up something to gain something better.
But you are worth your tomorrow today.
You are worth living with vibrancy and excitement.
Don’t worry. It’s not going mean that you deny being a mum, buy a plane ticket and fly to Europe. It simply means that you will remember you with the same tenacity that you remember your kids. I bet your kids doctors appointments are up to date and you make sure they eat well and have a good education. That goes for you too.
So I challenge you, wait, I dare you – do one thing today that is about you finding you, finding joy or just makes you happy. I dare you to start living today like it was your tomorrow. No excuses, no putting you last, no more waiting.
You see, if you burn out, what good are you to everyone around you who needs you?
Live today doing everything you put off for tomorrow.
I dare you.